


Asleep

by nozoelis



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Romance, Timeskip, no beta we die like Glenn, sleeping in the same bedroom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:14:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23445301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nozoelis/pseuds/nozoelis
Summary: Don't feel bad for me, I want you to know deep in the cell of my heart I really want to goor how Sylvain ends up in Felix's bedroom every night.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40





	Asleep

**Author's Note:**

> so huhhh about this fic huhhhhhhhhhhhh i cannot write any character unless they turn out to feel ooc so im sorry
> 
> still, enjoy (this has not been beta read, if you find any mistake tell me!)
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbuGWgYLqWk

* * *

_Sing me to sleep, I’m tired and I want to go to bed_

Sylvain finds himself going to Felix’s bedroom again. There’s no reason now, actually. He blamed the nightmares the first time, but he doesn’t anymore. Felix can see how big the bags under Sylvain’s eyes are becoming, which means he’s not sleeping at all. He knocks on his door and waits for a few seconds. Felix opens the door and Sylvain, while whispering a little _thank you_ , steps inside. None of them say anything because there’s nothing to say. Sylvain showed up one night crying his eyes out because he kept dreaming about Miklan (or so he said) and Felix just took him in. It seems is something usual now, having Sylvain around at night. It feels nice, actually.

_Sing me to sleep, and then leave me alone_

Felix sleeps on the floor, over a few blankets, whenever Sylvain shows up. Felix hears Sylvain cry until he’s too tired to be awake anymore. He spends all night looking at the ceiling wondering if he could help Sylvain at all. Anything could do the trick, actually, but he just caresses his cheeks, wiping away his tears. Then, he kisses him on the spot where the last tear was and goes back to the floor. He is even getting used to sleeping on the floor, not that he cares too much either. He knows Sylvain will sleep in his room the following day, too.

Will Sylvain finally feel at ease if he dies? Does he think that's the punishment he deserves for all the hurt he believes he has caused? Is it a sin to exist, even? 

_Don’t try to wake me up in the morning ‘cause I will be gone_

By the time sun is up, Sylvain is not there. Felix looks at the empty spot on his bed and finds it’s cold, so it’s been long since he left. Sylvain’s already with everyone when he arrives, doing his best to cheer everyone up or flirting with every female soldier in their faction. Felix looks at him with sad eyes and Sylvain smiles, waving at him. How idiot can he be? He shouldn’t force himself to be strong. Sylvain, at the bottom of his heart is just a small, scared, sad child. A child who couldn’t live up to the expectations, who knew no real love or affection but bruises all over his fragile body and panic attacks at night. There’s no need for that stupid, flirty façade of his; he doesn’t need to live to anyone’s expectations anymore. His life is his to live, and no one else. But he smiles and hides how he actually feels. But that's okay, he guesses. After all, he isn't one to talk, is he? As if he wasn’t using war as an excuse to ignore his own pain, as a mean to keep his mind enough busy not to think about Glenn. If only he could help him, carry the weight of the sins he never committed, ease his pain at all... If only the happiness Sylvain shows in his smile could reach his eyes too.

_Don’t feel bad for me, I want you to know deep in the cell of my heart, I’ll feel so glad to go_

Felix doesn’t lock up his room anymore so Sylvain can enter whenever he wants. This time, however, he asks him to stay with him on the bed. He doesn’t feel like sleeping alone tonight, he says, and Felix nods. What can he say? Felix can feel his warmth on his bare legs and feels the impulse to hug him, but he stops himself.

“Felix?”, Sylvain asks softly. Felix thought he was already asleep but it seems he was wrong.

“Yeah?”

“Were you asleep?”, he says in a low voice. Felix smiles.

“No, but I should”, he replies. “And you too, dammit.”

Sylvain laughs.

“Is it okay if I lit a candle?”, he asks without waiting for Felix to reply. He sighed and Sylvain smiled as if he was apologizing.

“What would you do if… one day… you woke up and I wasn’t there? Like… if I had completely disappeared?”, he asks again in a low voice. “You know… If someday I never return from war?”

Felix takes a few seconds to reply.

“I’d look for you even in hell, you dumbass”, he says. “I bet it’s hot as fuck down there, so please don’t make me go there looking for your motherfucking ass.”

Sylvain laughs a little and turns to face him. Felix finds that his eyelids are beautifully long.

“I’ll hide somewhere else then”, he replies and smiles. Felix looks at him and his heart beats faster. That damn idiot would be the end of him, he is absolutely sure of it.

“Don’t you go anywhere”, he says, but it sounds as a beg. Sylvain opens his eyes in surprise but smiles tenderly and holds his hand between his. “Don’t you die… don’t you die on me.”

“Thank you for having me here tonight, Felix”, he says kissing his cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Felix notices how Sylvain avoid replying to his beg, but says nothing. By the time he wakes up, as he expected, Sylvain is gone. Felix feels Sylvain is out of his reach and that thought scares him to death.

_Sing me to sleep, I don’t want to wake up on my own anymore_

Felix smiles when he hears the door opening. Sylvain enters and, as quietly as he can, slips into his bed.

“Hey there”, Felix says. Sylvain smiles.

“G’night”, he replies. “Missed me?”

Felix opens his arms instead and Sylvain hides his face in his chest. He smells nice.

“You did well today, Sylvain. I don’t know how often you hear it, of I you needed to hear it at all, but there you have it. You did well today and I’m glad you came back alive.”

Sylvain laughs a little bit, but Felix notices how sad it sounds. His hands become a grip and he caresses his hair, knowing that he is already crying.

“I’m so tired, Felix… I’m so done with this goddamn war, with this fucking crest of mine which has brought me nothing but misfortune, about wishing to die every single second I’m awake“, he says bitterly, his voice cracking, “I just want to sleep and never wake up again, you know? That’d be a good way to go.”

“Oh, and you’re gonna fucking leave me here on my own?”, Felix harshly replies. “You are out of your goddamn mind if you truly think you’re gonna do that, Sylvain. I won’t let you die, do you hear me? We still have a war to win, a life to live. Together, you fucking idiot.”

Sylvain stays silent when he hears a little sob. 

“Hey, Felix…”, he says softly. “I wasn’t serious, I won’t die… Please, don’t cry…”

Felix notices that he is indeed the one crying. 

“You made a promise, Sylvain”, he replies, angry. “That we would die together no matter what.”

Sylvain guides his head to his chest and starts caressing his hair.

“I know, and I will keep my promise till the end. I swear, Felix. This is not the end.”

However, Felix knows damn well that this could be their very final night together. If there's no tomorrow, if the world ends tonight with them there, Felix knows he'd be okay with it. Right now Sylvain's holding his hand, his head is resting in Sylvain’s chest. He feels safe, at home even. That's all he needs tonight. 

"Can I kiss you, Sylvain? I've been dying to do it", he says without giving it a second thought. And then he freezes.

He fucking did it, huh? He ruined it. He had to go and fucking ruin everything. For god's sake.

"Sylvain, huh... forget that, okay? I was just... I don't know, just leave for tonight", he says.

He is quiet. He really fucked things up, didn't he? 

"Let me be the one who kisses you", he says in such a low voice Felix is afraid of having misunderstood him. But he's on top of him and his lips are so beautiful and his cheeks are slightly red and his breathing is rough and Sylvain just kisses Felix. For a second their lips meet and Felix is sure that God won't forgive him, but he's okay with that. Hell's been waiting for him for so long now. He fits perfectly in Sylvain’s arms and his lips tastes like cinnamon and he smells like home and he loves him and that's all that matters for him right now. 

May tomorrow never come, Felix thinks, so they can be together forever.


End file.
